JUST SAY I'M SORRY

You don't know how I feel, don't tell me that you do.

There's just one way to know, have you lost a child too?

"You can have another." , Must I hear this each day?

Can I get another mother too, if mine should pass away?

Don't say it was "God's Will" , that's not the God I know.

Would God on purpose break my heart, then watch as my tears flow?

"You have an angel in heaven , a precious child above."

But tell me, to whom here on earth, shall I give this love?

"Arent't you better yet?", Is that what I heard you say?

NO! A part of my heart aches, I'll always feel some pain.

You think that silence is kind, but it hurts me even more.

I want to talk about my chid, who has gone through death's door.

Don't say these things to me. although you do mean well.

They do not take my pain away, I must go through this hell.

I will get better slow but sure, and it helps to have you near.

But a simple "I'm sorry you lost your child."

is all I need to hear.

Tina M. Stief

Mother of Jason Eric Stief  6/22/84 – 10/14/04

Murdered for His willingness to Testify against the thugs that killed his friend Miguel Colon.

Before my son’s murder, I had decided to return to college to further my career, possibly perusing some type of Business Course. Since his murder My path in life has changed drastically. I enrolled, but not for Business courses that I was originally going to take at RACC; I am now enrolled in I-Lead for Leadership Classes.

Very interesting stuff they teach. Just recently I finished a course called Public Systems. Some topics include Government Functions, Policy making, Civil Rights and Responsibilities, Understanding Local, State and Federal Governments as a unified System to name a few.  Where was this stuff when I was in school?  Actually I opted not to take the Civics classes; I found them boring and did not see a future in politics. Little did I know that I would be grasping for every bit of knowledge on our Government. I was in all college prep classes so my credits were way ahead of what I needed to graduate by 11^th grade.  I could pick and choose what classes I took the last two years, which were mostly study classes..  

Now when I look back, I do not see how the teachers let me choose so easily.

During my adulthood, I am finding out that I need the basics about how our government runs it self, from the president of the United States on down to the Mayor of the city that you live in.

We need to stay abreast of what our elected officials do.

They are supposed to be OUR voices, to do our biding. That is the reason for the elections that we hold so dear to our hearts. America has overcome so many obstacles to become the great nation that she is. This took visioning on the part of our forefathers. And it has worked for well over 200 years.

 From Government Functions to the Civil Rights and Responsibilities every American should know and understand what their inalienable rights are.

In Our Declaration of Independence it was written that all men are created equal, and that we have certain unalienable rights, that among there are –

LIFE LIBERTY AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS.

Inalienable Rights refers to a set of Human rights that are absolute, not awarded by human power, not transferable to another power and incapable of denial.

These are the Constitutional Rights that are guaranteed to each and every American Citizen by the US Constitution.

We also have Legal or Political Rights,  Collective Rights , Individual Rights, Natural Rights, Social Rights.

Human Rights are the rights that every human has a just claim (ie: Life, Liberty & the pursuit of happiness.)

Our Constitution guarantees this for each and every American Citizen.

 I should say that I found out you must be alive for these rights to be considered Inalienable Rights.

That is until you have become a homicide victim. Once you become a victim, you are in for a whirlwind of a ride, being victimized over and over again by multiple people and places.

The Media will victimize you. The Justice System will victimize you and last but not least, society will victimize you.

JUSTICE WILL BE ACHIEVED WHEN THOSE WHO ARE NOT INJURIED BY CRIME, FEEL AS INJURED …..AS THOSE WHO ARE.

It seems as if the meaning of this sentence has been lost in the process of trying to protect the innocent. Remember now, every person that is incarcerated always states that they are innocent. The accused has so many rights that the victim no longer has a voice.

Speaking from the experience of several “survivors of violent homicide victims” once your loved one has been murdered, you are no longer allowed to touch any of the “Crime Scene” (which to your horror you realize they are talking about your loved one) the law enforcement officials forget that the person they believe is their crime scene was a person that has people that love them.

(I was not allowed to see my son at all. If not for Herb from Milkens Funersl Home, he opened his Funeral Home on his day off so that I could spend a few hours with my son before they cremated him.

The laws have been amended so many times to protect the innocent that they now make the innocent person the victim.

We have to rely on the District Attorney’s office to fight for the rights of our loved one.

The accused now has all the rights. We want to make sure that THIER rights are not trampled on.  

In jail they are afforded all the luxuries that a person on the streets making minimum wage does not even have the means to afford.

They have a warm bed, three square meals a day, entertainment (TV) is available, medical attention, education, all available to them. They also have protective custody, because they “have enemies” in the jail.

My son, standing at 6’1” tall, 205 lb. , very muscular, now resides in a 10 inch long by 5 inch wide 5 inch tall cold marble urn. I cannot feel him, I cannot see him, never to be able to hold his children he never had.

Depending on the circumstances, they (the victim) was not afforded protection; otherwise they would still be alive.

In the court rooms, the surviving family members cannot wear pictures of the victim(s) so as not to sway the courts, they cannot openly show their emotions (they will be asked to leave the court room). The prosecution (District Attorney) cannot defame the accused person’s character, yet the defense can question and discredit the victim. Our loved one no longer has a voice.

When the police have to testify, they are not allowed to wear their police uniforms in to the courtroom so as not to sway the jury either.

I can only assume that the rights of the accused  are part of the civil rights that we hold so dear to our hearts, the right to due process and to equal protection under the law, but what about the victims rights?

Why have these rights been so erroneously taken away?

As a society, I believe that the rights of the accused have increased mainly due to the fact that they have all the time in the world to sit and petition the legislators that their rights are being infringed upon.

By the time a law abiding citizen is tangled in the unfortunate web of the justice system it is too late to change the laws fore that pertaining case. If any laws are changed, it only goes for future cases. I just found out during a class on Saturday that it takes an average of 7 years for a law to go thru the process to actually become a law. But, keep in mind, it took overnight to give legislature here in Pennsylvania a 16 % pay raise!

States and local governments can expand civil rights beyond the U.S. Constitution, but they cannot diminish Constitutional rights.

Hence the reason for partaking this course. To try to learn and understand the internal workings of our government. How I can help to put our values and mortals back on track.

Understandable are the rights we have in place, but to what extent do we take away the innocents rights?

Here is an example - A statement given to law enforcement officers is not admissible in court because it was not verbally spoken under oath in a court of law.

This is not logical. If the statement was given in a secure, safe environment such as the police station, why is it not valid?

The person swore that it was the truth when the statement was given.

Yet it was not allowed to be spoken in the court hearings because the person is not available to substantiate the statement, he was murdered to stop his testimony from being given.

The accused is now in protective custody in the local county prison because he has enemies. 

It is unclear to me how victims rights have slipped away so quietly. Not until I have personally experienced the injustices that befall the victim would I have believed this would happen in the United States of America., let alone to me and my family.

I have heard that it happened, but I did not believe it.

Not in our great country. I lived in a secure little world that evolved around my family, oblivious to the surroundings around me.

Once it hit my world that is when I took notice that something was wrong in our society and that help was needed to straighten out the wrongs that have transpired over the years.

As I said, the changes were so minute that it was not noticed at one time.

Victims have fought long and hard for their rights, one great accomplishment is the victims impact statement, which is supposed to be allowed to be read to the accused once they have been found guilty and prior to sentencing.

Sometimes it is not allowed to be read for fear it will prejudice the jury into giving a stiffer sentence.

But the law was passed for this to be done. This is one of the few times a victim’s voice can be heard.

The impact statement is a statement written by the survivors of the homicide victim addressing the murderer after the conviction but prior to sentencing.

The courts forget that the victim was a person, they had a life & that his civil rights were infringed upon when they were murdered.

Their right to life was taken away. 

This was an infringement of their civil rights. But this is not a key issue in the trial.

In the O.J. Simpson trial, he was found not guilty in a court of law in the murder of his estranged wife Nicole and her companion Rob, but he was found guilty and held responsible for their murders in a civil trial where he was sued for wrongful death.

There is no statue of limitation in a murder.

You also cannot be tried more than one time for the same charge. This is called double jeopardy.

Allot of times the law enforcement department will not bring charges against an accused until they are sure they have enough to make sure the charges will not be thrown out due to a technicality or not enough evidence.

The school of thought holds that it is better to let a criminal go free than to execute, imprison or otherwise punish an innocent person. Guess they didn’t hear about Ted Bundy or John Wayne Gacy, serial killers that murdered dozens of people.

For all intents and purposes, I believe in this concept.

However, I am also finding out the injustices that befall a victim and the struggles that the family endures in a time when they look to the justice system for JUSTICE for their loved one.

Their loved ones rights were infringed upon, yet they are not brought up in any arguments.

It seems like their life was not significant enough to be mentioned or fought for.

People are sympathetic to your plight, they offer hollow words of encouragement, not really meaning to get involved, but enough to pacify you so that you leave their presence.

Law Enforcement and Government Officials do not like dealing with survivors of homicide. They feel that survivors are too emotional, too angry, and want too many answers.

In my quest for answers and help in eliminating future victims, I have found very sympathetic ears, yet very few willing to help.

In the search for my sons’ rights being violated, I have learned that his right to free speech is being squelched while the only Newspaper in the city of Reading has their freedom of speech protected.

The newspaper is allowed to publish victims’ names. It is at their discretion weather or not to publish the names, even if the person specifically asked not to be identified.

I have also learned that the high ranking city officials will work with you in the hopes that you will go away, not go in a full circle for a search of answers.

I have also come to the realization that I have been wearing rose colored glasses when it comes to our legal system and our government.

Our Civil rights should pertain to all, but once you are no longer available to fight for your rights, it seems like you are forgotten.

It apparently does not matter that the victims’ rights were violated; their right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness was infringed upon.

The basic of all rights, the right to life, was taken away.

Yes, the constitution was put into place to protect the people. What people?

The past few months have dramatically opened my eyes. How can the Vice President of our country commit an offense, yet no punishment befall him? If that were a common individual,

no holds would be barred to bring that person to justice.

Look at the President now, acting like a spoiled child that did not get his way with the port deal going to the Arabs.

Saying he will veto any legislation until he gets his way and the port deal goes through.

In whose best interests is this deal? Surely it cannot be the American Public.

After 9/11 and the tight security that we have in place, why allow the fox into the henhouse?

In my quest for justice for my son, I see that I will have a battle on my hands.

It has been 628 days since my son’s murder, multiple witnesses, yet not one person will come forward. People do not want to be the next witness executed.

I encouraged my son to testify against the criminals that he recognized in a botched home invasion that resulted in the murder of his friend. My son and I believed in the justice system, that the criminals would pay for their crimes.

That the innocent would prevail.  Unfortunately, not this time.